I’m not sure what it is, the coming of 14th August, or my involvement in Swat Relief campaigns or the addition of numerous Pakistani friends, but I’m actually feeling a tad bit patriotic towards the Country. Especially compared to this post here that I had made a couple of months back.
Although I still wouln’t do the ‘I live and die for the Country…’ thing.
Life is interesting to say the least. We go through ups and downs. Then we go through phases of our lives which are hectic and fast and then we go through phases which are slow and boring. Through out them all we complain.
So apparently Niqaabis are facing a lot of opposition these days. Especially in places like France. I can never understand what peoples problem is with the face-veil. Live and let live. As long as no one is forcing you to cover your face, leave those who do alone. And please, don’t speak or think for them because you can never be in their place unless you adopt and feel what they do.
I know its going to be hard, but inshaAllah this Ramadan, I’m hoping I have the guts and strength to start doing Niqaab even infront of my cousins/brother-in-law. So far, I was on a ‘relative Munaqabah’ – ie – I didn’t cover my face infront of my relatives [Male]. But like they say, everything needs to be done steadily and I feel now is the right time. I’m hoping I have the strength to keep steadfast on this, especially when I visit Pakiland because Aunties would probably eat me up alive.
I honestly think I might have a serious marriage phobia. My friend, [who likes to try her hand at matchmaking quiet often, sigh] mentioned this guy I should consider because hes practicing, is actually more than okay about the Niqaab and might be someone I just maybe compatible with.
And I gave him an outright rejection without even asking anything about him.
Why? I honestly don’t know. When marriage is brought up in reference to me it just. makes. me. suffocate.
Oh besides, I still have genuine reasons… I need to finish my University education first. And I’m still a baby at heart. Ta Da! So there…
[God forbid my Parents find out all the people I've been rejecting and make sure they never meet 
].
And secondly, I’m really upset myself for running TWO blogs, not updating both and not having written anything worthwhile in quiet sometime.
Life iz de stupidz sometimez.
I’m involved in one the relief organisations involved in sending relief to Swat and other IDP’s and therefore I’ve been keeping upto date with the situation currently happening in Pakistan.
And lets just say, I’m totally disgusted and appalled to hear that some of the cities are going to refuse to give government aid and/or let the IDP’s in their cities. What is wrong with people? Especially the ministers?
The Country is in absolute turmoil, this is one of the largest internal displacement in the World and its as if Pakistanis within Pakistan don’t care. And are more concerned about ethnicity and other such political separatist crap. Ugh!
Not to mention, I’ve personally gotten news that food sent by UN was taken in by people and is being sold outside the camps when the people inside are going hungry. How can anyone be so cruel?
Pakistanis need to come out of their crap hole of ethnicity and cultural issues.
I’m so pissed right now. In fact, you know what? I’m now happy i don’t have feelings of patriotism towards the Country. I’ve always felt apologetic about that. I’m glad I was born and brought up outside so I don’t have the cultural baggage that comes with being a Pakistani or the feeling of ethnic differences that children are brought up with since their young. It’s not like the Country doesn’t concern me, but at least I give justice and right where they are due instead of looking at things with a cultural or ethnic lens.
This was an issue that I was meaning to write about in the past few days. An issue I think that needs to be dealt with.
Two years ago, when I was visiting Pakistan [Karachi], after quite an interval I was a bit surpised to realise none of the Women went to the Mosques. Not for Jumuah prayers or Eid. Then I also found out, most Masajids do not even have a space for Women.
I go the Friday Prayers regularly and it is normal for me to do so. As it is for a lot of Women who attend Jumuah prayers. So let’s just say, I was a tad bit disappointed. Although I still go to go as the Mosque my Grandfather goes to has space for Women. [Its tiny!]
After doing a bit of research, I realised there were several reasons for this.
Firstly, most of the Sub-Continent Muslim Countries are followers of the Hanafi Madhab. [For those of you who do not know what I'm talking about, google it].
The Hanafi Madhab is the madhab of Imam Abu Hanfiah [rahimullah] and in some cases highly discourages Women to go into Masajids to pray. However, in Islam there is no actual prevention for Women to go to pray in Mosques but the reward for Women to pray in their houses is better.
There is a difference here. What people have done is, they’ve taken the ‘discouraged’ part and have made it ‘haram’. I’ve heard in some places in India where Women are physically stopped and absolutely forbidden to go to the Mosques. This is not Islam. The houses of Allah are for both Men and Women.
Yes, for a Woman it is more rewarding that she prays in her house, but there is no prohibition for them to go to the Mosques.
Abdullah Bin Mas’ud reported the Prophet (pbuh) as saying: It is more excellent for a woman to pray in her house than in her courtyard, and more excellent for her to pray in her private chamber than in her house. [Sunan Abu Dawood Vol.1 Chapter 204 Hadith No.570]
In fact, in some cases the Prophet sallalahu alayhi wasallam asked that the Women go to the Mosque [For example: Eid Prayers] and certain Ulema also, especially in our times say Women should go to the Masajids when they are not getting Islamic knowledge at home.
Let us go into the time of the Prophet Muhammad sallalahu alayhi wasallam. The Women were very much active in all parts of the religion. Ayesha radi Allahu anh is ranked as one of the greatest scholars of ahadith. They were teachers, Mothers, Nurses. They were seekers of knowledge. A Woman once argued with Umar Ibn Al Khattab radi Allahu anh and won. Umar – who was one of the greatest and strongest Man of that time, one of the four righteous Caliphs and a close companion of the Prophet SAWs. And yet, a Woman won an arguement with him on a religious issue.
There are clear narrations that Women too would sometimes go to pray in congregation in the Mosques. When Umar Ibn Al Khattab [Radi Allahu Anh] was martyred, his wife was praying in congregation behind him. There is no case or incident that has been narrated that the Prophet sallalahu alayhi wasallam actually stopped Women from coming into the Masajids.
In fact, he did quite the opposite:
The Prophet (pbuh) said, ‘Do not prevent the female servants of Allah from going to the mosque of Allah.’ [Sahih Muslim Vol.1 Chapter 177 Hadith No.886]
“If the wife of any one of you asks permission (to go to the mosque) do not forbid her.” (Sahih Bukhari Volume 1, Book of Salaah, Chapter 80, Hadith No. 832)
I’m not advocating that Women go for every Salaah to the Masjid, what I’m advocating though is that Women should not be prevented from the Mosques and should be active members in their community.
I feel the need for this is now more than before. And the reasons why I think so is because:
I don’t have anything against the Hanafi Madhab per se [Incase I start getting hate comments 
] but I am against how somethings are being [mis] interpreted and how blind following should not be how we shoud be following our religion.
We need to go back to the authentic sources of the Qurán and Sunnah and give each other our rights.
I’ve had a fun past two days. Tomorrow is the first of Muharram – the beginning of the Islamic New Year and a holiday – so I had an extended weekend.
Yesterday, I had an interesting incident. I’d gone out with a friend for coffee/dinner to this place where we usually don’t really go. The reason is because its normally frequented by Non-Muslims [And Partying drunk Muslims] and alcohol is served openly so you don’t actually see a lot of Hijabis or ‘practicing’ Muslims around. But its just a bunch of restaurants put together with a place outside and its set up as a village, so it makes a nice place to sit and relax.
We went there yesterday because we wanted to enjoy the weather and it was close by. Considering it was Christmas I already knew what would be happening but we thought we’d give it a try. It was a nice experience, the atmoshphere and the ambience was simply fab. I love Winters.
Our waiter was Filipino. [They usually are]. I’ve come to the conclusion that Filipinos are the most curious when it comes to some things such as religion. So he came to us, after having seated us and this is how our conversation went.
”So, can I ask you a question Madame?’
‘Yes, go ahead’ I said.
‘I hope you won’t be offended’
To which I said, ‘No, no – we wont’
‘Is it true that all the Women who cover their faces like you do are married?’
At which my friend and I started laughing. I was last thing to being married. I explained to him why Women covered their faces with Niqab, the reasons behind it and how it was an Islamic issue. But I’m glad he asked us, it was a great oppurtunity for dawah.
I had a feeling he was fascinated by us – because later on he I saw him standing up a bit further away whilst we were eating and staring at our table constantly. It made eating difficult.
Anyway this brings me to the issue of Niqaab. I call myself a part-time Niqaabi. And I’ve been one for quite a while – a year maybe. But lately I’ve been feeling guilty about it, I feel as if I should made a firm decision and be steadfast on it. I wear the Niqab here everywhere. But I’m not strict about it – in the sense that I don’t cover my face in front of my brother in law or my male cousins/relatives. I tried, but it’s hard, however – I wear it out wherever I go.
I thought I’d be able to do in Pakistan too when I visited. I had the intention to. But sadly, I didn’t have the strength to do it, too many issues – or maybe I gave up too easily? Karachi is bad for me like that, it weakens my Imaan. But it’s so hard there, I have about 50 or more male cousins who like to swarm my grandmothers house when we visit – not to mention the Aunties and all the events. So I gave up on it – even wearing it to the marketplaces. [I'd thought if I don't wear it at home, I'd do it outside at least].
Did I feel guilty? Yes – to an extent. I remember I was discussing the Niqaab issue with Falsa when I was in Karachi and we came up with [Or rather I] came up with the [lame] excuse that Men in Pakistan don’t exactly check out Hijabi Women in the first place so the Hijab does actually serve its purpose. And honestly speaking to an extent this is actually true – alhamdulilah.
Wear an Abaya and Hijab in Pakiland and [most] people assume you’re illiterate, backward and extemist. 
Not that I have issues with it if its acting as a repellant.
It was a lame excuse though, because in the end, it’s not all about Men. It’s to do with my soul, my Imaan and what I feel is best for me and brings me closer to God spiritually.
I know what a lot of people must be thinking – in fact, I’ve heard it quite a few times. ‘Oh, you’re doing the Abaya and Hijab already, it’s enough – Niqab is not even fardh’ - What people don’t understand is that there is never an ‘enough’ in Islam when it comes to doing good deeds and earning reward. There is always the next level – the next step to becoming a better person.
Secondly, this is something I feel strongly about religiously. Even over here, sometimes I get asked why I cover my face – I’m not married and young [Usually the old, married with Kids Auntyish Women wear it] – and sometimes I ask myself that too. Women love looking beautiful, even in Hijab, we still have that nagging though at the back of our head to ‘look good’. But I guess it’s not a ‘Woman’ thing – Men do it too, it’s more of a Human thing. [I'm not saying there is anything wrong with looking presentable though.] Wearing Niqaab is going against the ego, the nafs. But its spiritually pleasing and so satisfying to the soul.
Sometimes, I know, so many things would be easier if I just gave up on Niqaab completely – but would my heart and soul and my spiritual self be satisfied? No. In some things, I’ve come to rely on that feeling in my heart, we can never please people enough, but we can please Allah.
Sigh. Lifes a struggle.
So for now, I’m still a ‘Part-Time Niqaabi’ – I hope Allah [SWT] give me strength to wear it everywhere, regardless of Country or people and makes me stronger in it.
So I went to my fourth dawat yesterday. I know I should be happy, dawaats are supposed to be fun right? But they aren’t. Especially when they happen one after the other and all of them have the same old procedure. And especially when they happen 5-6 times, consecutively.
So the one I went to yesterday contained a particular Uncle who insisted I eat. And no, not just once. He did it about 10-15 times. To the point where I was thinking I’m going to have a nightmare which would include, ‘Khao, beta, khao!’.
I love food, and I love the process of making it and eating it. However, this time, I was actually tired of chewing the naan and the Kebab the Uncle kept on putting on my plate. As it is, it’s not like I need anymore extra flab on me.
It ended with him pushing a bowl of kulfi infront of me, of which I just had a few bites to please him. And all the while I was eating, I kept on thinking that either I was going to throw up tonight or have an awful stomach-ache.
Khair, I have a wedding to go to tomorrow and another dawat, which I’m going to wriggle out of. There is no way I’m going through another one to suffer.
The food is good, it’s just that my stomach is a stomach and not a house.
Anyway, I finally met up with ON/Falsa – another EX-blogger [Who I'm trying to get blogging again]. Who blogs at:- http://www.falsaqueen.com
I went to her place and we had a lot of fun, alhamdulilah. Staying true to my blog, I wore purple! [Okay - that happened without thinking. I should've worn Purple to the blogger meet. ] We had chai sitting on the swing in her verandah overlooking the garden being drenched with rain where we talked non-stop. It was very comforting, if not peaceful. I’ve talked so much that my throat is now hoarse from talking.
We went through the usual girl talk, discussing ‘issues’. Apparently, we’re very similar. We both love travelling, food and we came to the conclusion that we’re a weird mixture of religious and crazy. I gave in to temptation for a minute and stood in the rain. But that was it. Although I’m going to give in i’m sure again when it rains and for much longer. Cold/Cough be damned!
Her Mom is a sweet-heart She made sure ON was the proper host and that I had the haleem, Sandwhiches, Samosas, Chai and gajar ka halwa, which were all really good. [And no, this wasn't like the Uncle story above - lol]. I’m hoping I can meet her again for lunch once before I leave inshaAllah.
PS: I’m loving the rain in Karachi! It was raining really heavily back home and I was regretting not being there because of the weather, but now I’m happy.
So I met a couple of Karachiite bloggers last night, it was fun. 
The details are at Karachiwalis blog post.
And so are my comments/impressions, etc.
My Cough/Cold seems to be getting worse by the day, and now to top it all I’m down with fever, again. Usually I’m not so bothered when I get a cold/cough, but this time its gone on for about half a month and I’m on vacation right now, so I really don’t want to stay ill. And if I get too ill, I tend to faint. I’ve gotten all my check-ups done but no one can figure out why I faint if I get ill. All the fluids in my body are normal and no, I’m not anemic. [The first time it happened was in a market here in Karachi a couple of years back. Oh the embarrassment!]
My seats get extended… again. Sigh. First it was the 16th, then it became the 18th and now it’s either 20th or 21st of December. I’m traveling with my Dad and he wants to stay a little longer. I don’t actually mind staying longer [I'm not bored of Karachi as yet besides, I still need to shop and eat out], but I have important things to sort out back home.
Besides that, the dawats here seem to be never-ending. Karachites are very social. We have one to go today, and another one to go to tomorrow. I’m not exactly looking forward to the one tomorrow. It’s at my Sisters in-laws, and apparently my Sisters husbands brothers Wife was desperately trying to hook me up with her brother.
Sigh. Talk about being awkard. I really hope hes not there. I usually use the ‘I’m so religious that I’m an extremist’ appearance/excuse to put off un-wanted potentials but turns out, he’s religious too!
PS- Mad props to Muntadar Al Zaidi for throwing shoes at Bush! He’s made history and according to a lot of people, done what other Muslim Leaders should’ve done long time ago.
This is a little personal irk of mine. I always get slightly irritated when someone refers to what I’m wearing as a ‘Burkha’ and not an ‘Abaya’ in Pakistan.
When I say Abaya I mean this: [This design is a favourite of mine ]
Or this:
And when I mean burkha, this is what I mean:
or this:
There is a difference! However, I think this has to do with linguistics. Pakistanis tend to call all outer-garments as burkhas, [Including the Hijab/Niqab sometimes] and Arabs differentiate between an Abaya and a Burkha. Usually the ‘burkha’ is an outer-garment worn from the head, for eg. in Afghanistan OR the golden face-covering worn only by old bedouin Women. And Abayas come from the shoulders and well, are slightly more ‘fashionable’.
I’ve realised, over here, people tend to think you’re a jahil if you’re in Hijab, I have a little personal satisfaction when I see their jaws drop when they hear me speak in English.
“O Prophet! Say to your wives and your daughters and the women of the faithful to draw their outer garments close around themselves; that is better that they will be recognized and not annoyed. And God is ever Forgiving, Gentle.”
(Surah al-Ahzab: 59)
In one of my previous posts I talked about not-so-nice embarrassing incidents which seemed to have been occurring with me for the past few weeks. I’d like to add a few more to the list:
- I burned my hand with hot boiling water. 
Alhamdulilah, its healed now.
- I have my Cousin and his wife over who are visiting the Country, and I usually walk around in my Abaya/Hijab around the house over my clothes whenever we have male [Non-Mehram] relatives over… because well its very convenient and usually my Cousins are careful because they know I do Hijab, so they knock before entering anywhere and/or clear their throats before coming in. My brother-in-law is over too, so I just don’t take the risk.
Khair, I had this really bad incident, where I, not knowing that one of my other [male] Cousin had also come over stupidly walked into the Kitchen trying to find my Mom to tell her that I was going to be going out. I just wanted to *bang* my head against the wall later. I promptly ran back the way I came from.
Only Women who wear Hijab can relate to the feeling the one goes through during these utterly horrible incidents. Gah! It was ultra embarrassing for both me and him I’m sure. Especially, considering I’ve been doing Hijab from them for years and they haven’t seen me without it, not to mention ridiculously awkard! I was cringing for ages after.
There is nothing you an do about it though except to meet them again pretending nothing happened. Sigh. Usually these incidents happen when I’m in Pakiland because of the numerous population of Cousins who all like to come together [MashaAllah].
Anyway, talking about P – Land, I might be visiting K-City [Karachi] in a couple of days for Eid… that is if we get seats. Apparently, all the flights are booked now and we were indecisive [And I still am!] about going before. If not for Eid, maybe for a few days after Eid.
The reasons for me being indecisive about visiting are quite a few, I think I’ll write a post on it. :p
But, it has to be said, Baqra Eids in Karachi are fun if nothing else. Last time I spent it there, all of us Cousins would wake up everyday in the morning, fill into the cars and drive down to some area near Tariq Road and watch Camels get slaughtered. [Not for the weak of heart!] In fact, because there were quite a few of us girls standing, and the crowd was moving back and forth in tune with the actions of the Camel, this Family were telling all the girls go up on their balcony and watch from a ’safe distance’. Lol, pretty sweet I would say.
[And I can't believe I'm ending this post on a positive note].
Whats Being Said...