Stupidity 101

Life is interesting to say the least. We go through ups and downs. Then we go through phases of our lives which are hectic and fast and then we go through phases which are slow and boring. Through out them all we complain.

So apparently Niqaabis are facing a lot of opposition these days. Especially in places like France. I can never understand what peoples problem is with the face-veil. Live and let live. As long as no one is forcing you to cover your face, leave those who do alone. And please, don’t speak or think for them because you can never be in their place unless you adopt and feel what they do.

I know its going to be hard, but inshaAllah this Ramadan, I’m hoping I have the guts and strength to start doing Niqaab even infront of my cousins/brother-in-law. So far, I was on a ‘relative Munaqabah’ – ie – I didn’t cover my face infront of my relatives [Male]. But like they say, everything needs to be done steadily and I feel now is the right time. I’m hoping I have the strength to keep steadfast on this, especially when I visit Pakiland because Aunties would probably eat me up alive.

I honestly think I might have a serious marriage phobia. My friend, [who likes to try her hand at matchmaking quiet often, sigh] mentioned this guy I should consider because hes practicing, is actually more than okay about the Niqaab and might be someone I just maybe compatible with.

And I gave him an outright rejection without even asking anything about him.

Why? I honestly don’t know. When marriage is brought up in reference to me it just. makes. me. suffocate.

Oh besides, I still have genuine reasons… I need to finish my University education first. And I’m still a baby at heart. Ta Da! So there…

[God forbid my Parents find out all the people I've been rejecting and make sure they never meet ].

And secondly, I’m really upset myself for running TWO blogs, not updating both and not having written anything worthwhile in quiet sometime.

Life iz de stupidz sometimez.

A Womans heart

I love this quote. And I think every Woman out there should implement it.

“A woman’s heart should be so hidden in God that a man should have to seek Him first to find her.”

[Author unknown]

Gah

I’m not going to panic because there is no point in doing so. I’m drowning, yet again in a mountain of work that I need to work though. See what happens when I procrastinate and leave things till the last minute?

I have to:

• Listen to the Tafseer of Surah Maryam Verses 1 – 4o because I skipped class today and the tafseer is for 2 and something hours. Then I need to study the Arabic of the verses. This is due tomorrow.
• I have to finish two Fehm Al Quran Papers for tomorrow.
• I need to revise Arabic Grammar and this is something I don’t like – Arabic Grammar is. hard.
• I have a hadith test tomorrow and I haven’t touched my books.
• Need to review my memorisation of Surah Kahf first 15 verses for thursday. [Only thing I don't have a problem with as such!]
• And on top, I need to be present for the fundraising event happening tomorrow for Swat.
• I’m not getting time to work-out in all this and im so out of stamina. I volunteered somehwhere one day and we had to pack boxes, when I got home I didn’t have the energy to do anything. I just slept. The next morning, my whole body felt like a truck had driven over it. I don’t think i’ve ever felt so unfit in my life. :S I miss the gym days…

Sigh. Sigh. Sigh.

My Cat went and fought again and has a wound which has puss in it on his cheek. Need to go to the Vet, but the dear vet doesnt sit until 5pm!

Oh and, I SO dont need some of the ‘added complications’ in my life.

Oh and I can’t believe I didnt mention I don’t have my own Car. So I have to depend on the ‘house’ car when its free! I hate this. Sniff. Hopefully my Dad will get a new car, and Ill have the Camry to myself. Will make things so much easier.

And I don’t understand why some people think that just because I’m studying the Qurán for a year and a half I won’t complete my University education!!! :S

First accident… dent

You know how things go wrong one after the other?

Yeah well, I’m in a bit of a mess right now. Whilst taking the Car out of the supermarket parking lot today evening I without realising it brushed against the car on my left. And now there is a bump/dent on the right hand corner up-front of  the blue coloured camry. Thank-God nothing happened to the Jeep it brushed up again. I was going to leave [I know... I'm a scaredy-cat] but this guy came and picked up something that fell from my car, [I don't know what to call it] and he fixed it for me.

Anyway, now I need to deal with the huge dent. And its right above the headlight. I’m nervous.

I don’t know if I should tell my Dad or not… I know I should, but I’m being a wuss again. I’ve told my brother and he said he’ll get it sorted out when he comes back, but my Dads going to find out anyway when they go to get it fixed.

I can’t decide what to do.

What if I’m not allowed to drive for the next few weeks? That would just kill! Not to mention, my Mom already gets scared when I leave the house and I’m driving.

I wish I could go back in time.

I hate being babied! [Sometimes]

I am so frustrated and angry right now. Yes, I KNOW i wrote a post a while back that I won’t be blogging but this place is for me to rant and rave and I needed to turn somewhere. My other blogs are far too serious.

Right. I hate it. Absolutely freaking hate it sometimes. I dislike having a stupid 9:30/10:00pm curfew [Can't believe I'm admitting this on here...] and it runs in the family. My Dads policy: no matter how old you get, if you’re living under him and you’re his daughter, you have to come home under a certain time. So yes, my 33 year old sister STILL has a curfew when she is over and shes married!

To a point I can understand, they’re our Parents, girls aren’t supposed to be out so late and they’re also pretty accomodating sometimes when they know its a wedding or whatever, but sometimes it just irritates me when I’m out somewhere and it gets lates and the calls start coming in.  Not to mention, it’s highly embarrasing when you need to accounce in between people that you need to LEAVE because its getting late and you have a curfew.

I know for a record its not about trust, my Parents know I won’t be out doing anything wrong, like walking into a club or going out on a date with some guy. In fact, I’m more strict about things like religion then they are. No, the problem is safety issues and no matter how many times I tell my Parents its absolutely safe, even after dark their curfew alarm doesn’t stop blinking.

I mean, I even wear a darned Niqaab when I go out! If that isn’t an armour on its own I don’t know what is.

Usually I’m the most chilled person about this, I’m back home on time and all that jazz, but sometimes its so freaking frustrating when you’re out somewhere doing some  social work or wherever and it gets late. I’ve been volunteering recently to sort out donations for SWAT somewhere over here, and sometimes it gets late.[ The other day i came home at 11 pm] So that day they were cool about it as I’d called and explained that things were being shipped off and we needed to work till late.

But today was an absolute disaster. Something or the other turned up and I couldn’t go and help put. I’m very passionate about these things, not to mention I’d told people there I’d be turning up today to help out as shipments were being transferred.

Anyway, finally, the car comes at 8pm. But lo and behold! My Mom throws a fit out me driving at 8pm. She goes and tells my Dad and I’m told not to go. I don’t understand why my Mom doesn’t still trust my driving… She thinks I’ll crash everytime I drive just because I got my license recently. In fact she still hasn’t sat in the car with me yet.

I want to bang something. Literally. Or shoot someone.

It sucks being the youngest sometimes. Because no matter how old you grow, you’re still the baby.

On a totally random note, I absolutely love the respect you get from Muslim Men if you wear Hijab or Niqaab. Totally makes my heart smile. [Not to mention that it sprouts fear in in their hearts and makes them uncomfortable, mwaha]. I’ve been working with a couple of your average decent Muslim Guys for the past few days, packing and sorting things and I’m the only Niqabi there. Some of them won’t even look me in the eye for more than two minutes, I think the Niqaab automatically makes them look somewhere else, which although is a bit funny makes me think it’s utterly adorable. And obviously I’m given a wide berth should I walk into any place.

And then you have those rare cases who are actually interested in you regardless of the fact that they can only see your eyes, hands and hear your voice, and although they do it respectfully and indirectly, they don’t fail in professing their ‘interest’. Hopefully I won’t be having to deal with anything ’serious’ by the time this campaign is over. It’ll just make things horribly awkard. Ahem.

Girls Night In

It was an exhausting but a fun and satisfying day. Everything went as planned although I was getting stressed about things not being ‘perfect’.

I’m glad everyone came.  We had a blast. We stuffed ourselved with food and talked the usual girl-talk [Marriage, Kids, Islam, Babies, Clothes, Weight gain, Headaches & the whole deal.]

Theres something very spiritually satisfying when you’re with the people you love and care for, alhamdulilah. The only off-side point about going to quite a few parties in one go is that you gain a lot of weight and I’m invited for two more this week  because one of my very close friend is moving back to the UK.

Anyway, I took some pictures of the food.

We made Lasagne, Pizza & Cake. All home-made!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hec-tic

Last few days and the current ones have been crazily hectic. I’m not even getting time to breathe.

Aside from the fact that my little niece and nephew are over [They just sprayed starch on my laptop & desktop, left banana peels in different parts of the house and are terrorising my Cat.], we’ve re-furnished parts of our house.

Shifting and re-shifting furniture can be absolutely time-consuming. Not to mention, I have a little get together at my house on Saturday where I’ve invited all my girlies and we’re going to gorge on eat Lasagne and home-made chocolate cake [Which I'll be making inshaAllah]. I’m hoping everything is cleaned and immaculately perfect for Saturday. Also, I have a LOT of junk that I didn’t realise I have. Old papers and books which I need to find a place to give away.

I was at IKEA the other day and I’ve realised I just simply love going there. I love standing there and admiring the furniture and dreaming about how I would furnish my dream house. Sigh.

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A Womans intuition

I’ve come to trust my intuition. Before, I would think my mind is probably working over-time but as my Sister puts it, ‘If you’re suspicious about something – there’s a reason that, that thought came into your mind in the first place’.

Anyway I stumbled upon this article on the Net:

Article

Pretty cool.

Blah 2

I’m really pissed at myself for being so horribly freakishly disorganised and excessively procrastinating.

It’s like i’m a certain position in life right now, spiritually, mentally, physically and intellectually and I know I would so much better for myself if Iwas at the higher position. However, to get to that higher position I need to sacrifice, manage my time and stop daydreaming.

Anyway, I listened to this lecture by Brother Nouman Ali Khan on wasting time and it’s nice: